Gary’s Fitness Blog

We all need athletic “blinders” … most of the time.

This morning Nikki and I got into an argument during our run. It centered around a workout that I had given the Chicago Marathon group that we were in the middle of completing. I was trying to get a message of “experience” across, while she was trying to get the point of “perfection” across.

In the end, we both had reason to feel frustrated. But the workout ended great and another life lesson was learned while taking part in this endurance lead life.

Upon thinking about this mornings run, I have continued to think about this idea of training with an emphasis on perfection. I am actually in favor of training for perfection, but only within the right mindset. For example, training with a focus on perfect experience and not perfect outcome.

This may seem like an argument in semantics, but I don’t think so. I’ll share more on this subject when time allows, but here’s a quick thought:

Perfect Experience vs. Perfect Outcome

I find that when I become more devoted to challenging an aspect of my own physiology or mindset I obtain a higher satisfaction out of my endurance lifestyle, versus the times that I become focused on obtaining some external outcome (i.e. Boston Qualifying, top 3 age group, etc.). The irony is that I often perform my best when I am able to completely detach myself from those external influences (times, paces) and allow my body/mind to focus on self-perfection in my performance.

This is a fine line (as in today’s workout) when a workout or race is governed by specific external factors. It is difficult but it can be done.

Creating our athletic blinders.

Elaine Breeden is a swimmer at Stanford University that just qualified for the USA Olympic Team in the 100 and 200 fly. Back when Elaine was a swimmer for the Wildcat Aquatics program, I had the opportunity to work with her for a short period of time in one/one and team settings.

At that time there was also some interest in sharing ideas with her about how to prepare mentally for competition, I wrote my “Mental Training for Athletes” article as a response to thoughts that I wrote out to share with her. As time passed, I continued to see personality traits in her (at 14) that I felt were an essential part of her success. I wrote some of those thoughts in a blog post titled, “Personality of a Champion“.

After Elaine qualified for the Olympic Team she was quoted in the paper and interviewed on tv, which lead me to send her some questions regarding her mental preparation. I feel that one thing she said in her reply, really addresses this topic of “perfect experience” vs. “perfect outcome”.

Here is that specific question and answer:

Me: I am really interested in some things that they quoted you saying in the Lexington Herald and in your interview, specifically: “I had my eyes shut and was focused on my stroke” interview after the 200.

Elaine: Closing my eyes is more of a natural reflex while racing than something I plan on doing. Its my way of putting “blinders” on so I think about my stroke, not the rest of the heat.

Most of us do not understand what it means to compete at such an elite level - I don’t. But I can only assume that the temptation to feel motivated or driven by an outcome is significantly greater at that level of performance than any level I have competed in. Especially when your competition is ultimately determined by finishing first or second (and not some personal best).

Elaine’s response is the reminder that I sometimes need. I need to focus on my experience and ultimately the performance will be there and the outcomes will take care of themselves. This is another characteristic of a champion, they understand what they can and can not control - then they perfect what they have the power to manage. In fact, earlier in her response she wrote:

“My focus going into trials was to stay confident and positive and to concentrate on the things I had control of. “

It appears that she is much better at implementing some of the mental training and preparation ideas that I shared with her than I am myself. Not surprising to me. As I have said many times since meeting her, she is very talented physically, but there is something about her personality and character that sets her apart (and she is only 19!).

Elaine has shared some more thoughts with me and I have a few more questions to ask her, but I’m going to wait until she gets back from China.

Seek the perfect experience. Control what you can. Find the blinders you need … and allow the outcome to occur!

The idea of "milestone" birthdays has been an increasingly large topic on my mind lately. I do not normally think about my birthdays and honestly hate the idea of a birthday celebration, but I think that the next few months are going to be interesting for me from a psychological / personal happiness point of view.

Why? Because I turn 30 in September.

I am not complaining, I do not feel old, I do not believe my days of "living it up" are over….. it just seems that as I think about the fact that I am turning 30, I begin to think about 5 and 10 years ago and all that I thought would have happened by now.

For those that know me, you likely know that I like operate on multi year plans. In general, my 2 year plan is pretty specific, 5 year plan is outlined and 10 year plans are fuzzier mile-markers. Here are a couple examples of plans that are easy to point to and that I am currently in the middle of:

a - 5 year Ironman plan. I first shared the sketch of this plan back in September of 2006 in my post, "4 days to first 140.6 triathlon ". It has obviously changed to a small degree, but even when life variables change I try and stay steady. We’ll see how much it changes when Nikki starts school full-time?

b - 5 year business development. One of the reasons that Nikki and I wanted to move back to Kentucky is that it was going to offer us the ability to start our own business. Moving back here in August of 2005, I thought that it would take around 3 years for us to both be able to step away from "regular jobs" and try being on our own 100%. Nikki went full-time in April of ‘06, I went in April of ‘07. So things have been moving quickly and we’re as passionate as ever to serve others in health, fitness and performance.

Other guys do the same thing:

1. I was recently listening to Competitor’s Radio and heard an interview they did with Dean Karnazes . They talked about his journey to becoming the "Ultra Marathon Man" and how it began with him running 30 miles on his 30th birthday (from a bar I believe). I haven’t read his book, Ultra Marathon Man: Memoir Of An Extreme Endurance Athlete but Nikki has and she said this event is discussed in the book also.

2. This past week I got an email from Bill Anders , who had some questions about training for his goal to run 40 miles on his 40th birthday. He said he got the idea from the site, B-FitB-day . Because Bill is in Iraq, he’s modifying the standard goals for B-FitB-day and just running his age (did I say "just" run his age!).

And the list of events like this goes on. It makes me wonder, why is it that guys find it a necessary step in life to prove that a birthday (or passing of time) has not proven their mortality? I guess the most famous defiance of age over the years has been the events that Jack LaLanne has done on his birthdays.

In the book, "Timeless Healing " by Herbert Benson, PhD, he discusses how men tend to die around the time of their birthdays. Specifically, men tended to die prior to their birthdays because looking ahead towards their birthday as a sort of deadline. The paper that Benson referenced was actually titled, "The Birthday: Lifeline or Deadline?" by Dr. David Phillips from the University of California, San Diego.

It’s interesting as I look at my own thoughts about the upcoming 30 year "deadline", there are many things that I thought were in my 10 year plan during my 20’s that have not happened. The biggest item that I had on that list was getting my Ph.D, which still comes up a lot within my mind as a source of dissonance.

What do I have in mind for my "milestone" event?

In May, I made a post titled "Help me find my new challenge ".  At the time I wasn’t looking forward to my birthday, but I think that as I come up with ideas, I will.  The idea of riding across Nebraska is probably out at this point - but what I have on my mind right now would actually be more challenging physically - and pretty cool (IMO).

Stayed Tuned.

What milestones have you faced?

It doesn’t have to be a birthday, but I’m interested in hearing others fitness or life milestones that you have encountered.  How it impacted you?  How it propelled you to better places?  Etc.

See you on the roads!

The picture above is from this past weekend. The weekend was a good reminder as to what balance can create for your health, sometimes fitness, but may not be a positive factor for performance. Read On.

This past weekend Nikki and I spent Saturday afternoon through Sunday afternoon at the Boone Creek Anglers Club. It was a short retreat with the other trainers and families from Fitness Plus (the studio we personal train at). It was a great way to spend some time socializing, relaxing, hiking and just being around nature. We often take little trips outdoors in order to get away. Thankfully, we live in Kentucky where there is a lot of natural beauty to be explored. (Even though people say that we should still be living out west if that is what we truly desired… take a look for yourself. Pictures here.)

The whole experience allowed me to solidify some thoughts that I have been having on what type of year I would like to have in triathlon, running and competing.

The process of an active lifestyle:

Last year around the New Year, I wrote a post discussing the benefits of setting up process goals. It sounds easy, but often we fall into the outcome based thinking. As I approached Ironman Wisconsin in September, I felt that pressure to become more and more outcome focused. Some of that pressure was from others always asking what my goals were, some of the pressure was within in my own mind deciding what would be and what would not be successful.

I feel like I succeeded in fighting off those pressures and just allowing my training plan take care of itself and allowing the race to happen. (You can read my race report if you want.) The interesting thing for me was what happened after the Ironman. I quickly became dissatisfied with my accomplishment and found myself looking for how I could “better” my efforts this year. And by better, I mean, how can I prove myself to others and myself again.

By November, I was making plans to do two and possibly three ironman distance races in 2008. And my training plan was beginning to be sketched out. But that is not what I want to be about. I can’t force myself to be happy only by beating “x” or even out-doing myself. Triathlon, running and all the activities that I’ve competed in over the last 9 years has been about a lifestyle.

I find it interesting that on January 1st, 1999, I sat down and wrote down on a piece of paper

“complete a marathon”

And nine years later, I fully anticipated completing a couple marathons and iron-distance triathlons in the same year. There could be a lot said about the change in lifestyle that has occurred during that time!

This year I have decided to revive my commitment to the lifestyle, the daily process of being active. I’m not 100% sure what that means right at this moment, other than it means I will seek balance in my activities and I won’t target an A race.

Why? Well my thinking is this; when I have an A race chosen each day is geared towards one single day of the year. This reality alone makes it difficult at time to chose activities that will increase my enjoyment, because the activity chosen is the one that will prepare me to do that race better.

I will still race, but hopefully no race will become more important than another. Nor will any race become more important than my Saturday rides. There might be a lot of peace available for myself if that is true.

The bottom line is that I’m taking the “Basic Week” idea to a lifestyle extreme of having a noncompetitive anticipation as my end. The reality is that is where it all began 9 years ago. As an 11 hour Ironman athlete, that is really where it is anyway!

Balance and Athletic Success:

My perspective of this as a coach is that this is not an optimal strategy that results in the best possible race. When it comes to health and fitness there is a level of balance that we all can achieve; when it comes to race performance, there is often little room for balance. The best athletes are those with a life that has little balance involved in it. If you have any questions about this, watch the documentary “What it takes“.

I received the documentary (along with the trainer version and Showdown) for Christmas. It is a very inspiring and interesting video, but you don’t see much balance available for those at the top end of the sport. They live swimming, biking and running.

Many of you are probably saying, “yeah but”. Yeah but, I don’t want to be the best. Yeah but, I’m an age-grouper not a professional. Yeah but, etc….

The truth is that at the long end of the tail, there is not much balance - even for the “everyman”. I personally will not be a top professional in Hawaii, I know that. But even when I compete against myself, I realize that to become a much faster Ironman than 11 hours, I’m going to have to sacrifice a level of balance.

In 2008 I will likely not become a faster Ironman athlete, but I will be very active. That’s the point.

– the picture is just a reminder of what truly makes me happy–

On September 9th I accomplished a goal that I’ve had since around 1999/2000 (I can’t remember the exact date that I put it down on paper but somewhere around then). I finished an Ironman Triathlon. I swam 2.4 miles, I biked 112 miles and I ran 26.2 miles all in 11 hours and 12 minutes.

What a great accomplishment and milestone in my life! But the question that I’ve been dealing with for the past week and a half is this; If accomplishing a goal like that meant so much to me, after sacrificing so many hours of my life, after sacrificing financial rewards and stability, after involving so many friends and family in my circle of support - why do I feel so empty?

If you read my analysis of the race results you will see that even then I was having a little difficulty enjoying what had just happened. Enjoying the moment.

I don’t want everyone to think that I’m walking around all depressed and feeling sorry for myself, that’s not true. But I do have this inner feeling that makes me feel like I should have enjoyed the finish a little more than I did.

Possibly the fact that I’m not really satisfied is a good thing, from a performance perspective. The dissatisfaction might be a strong motivator for me to train this winter and race more in 2008. That personality characteristic just might be an ingredient that exists in the personality profile of champion athletes.

I don’t have clear answers to these ideas, I have a lot more questions. Here’s a big one; If I’m not as happy as I want to be right now, What will give me a “10″ on the happiness meter?

A book that I’ve been reading has put some light on this subject, Stumbling on Happiness. The book isn’t a self help manual or workbook that leads you to happiness, so if you need help finding happiness, this is not a whole lot of help. But the author (Daniel Gilbert) does go through all the issues that humans face when trying to find happiness. The following are some interesting ideas that I’ve pulled from book that have helped me put my Ironman experience in context. Maybe they’ll help you understand your little journey too:

1. We commonly do things now so that our future selves will be happy. But how well do we know our future selves? How well do we know what will make us happy in the future? — We all think we know exactly will make us happy in the future. We are almost always wrong. — So even if I won an Ironman, would that give me a 10. What are you chasing to be happy?

2. When people day dream they see themselves succeeding rather than fumbling or failing. — This makes sense, why would you want to day dream about failure? The issue that I see becoming a problem is that when we day dream we rarily inject any reality into those dreams. Or, we may not set forth a plan that would help those day dreams become a reality. — How many Ironman goals are just day dreams that are not based upon any signal / sign of real events. i.e. my cycling times at Wisconisn. — I had a major problem seperating day dreaming in high school in relation to basketball. Unfortunatley a lot of day dreaming occured during games! I had troubles seperating out the thoughts of the crowd (girls) and actually competing. Good thing I’ve matured?

3. Fear and anxiety can prove to be a powerful motivator.

4. “When we imagine the future, we often misimagine the future events whose emotional consequence we are attempting to weigh.” Therefore when we actually experience that future event we maybe in a position of dissappointment. — I think this is a big reason why people always look toward the future in general and feel like it will be better than today (unless there is serious depression), the ability to find happiness is to realize the “now”. Today can make us happy. We can become fulfilled today.

5. “Researchers have discovered that when people find it easy to imagine an event they overestimate the likelihood that it will actually occur….. we tend to overestimate the likelihood that good events will actually happen to us, which leads us to be unrealistically optimistic about our futures.” — Yikes!

To finish my notes from this book for now I’ll share a quote the author shared from Blaise Pascal (philosopher and mathematician):

“All men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views. The will never takes the least step but to this object. This is the motive of every action of every man, even those who hang themselves.”

Will winning an Ironman make me happy? Probably not. Not if I can’t find a way to be happy with where I’m at right now as a triathlete. I may say that it would make me happy, but remember, we are all pretty poor at determining what will make us happy in the future. It isn’t always better tomorrow, so start living today.

Spend some time in prayer, meditate for 10 minutes, tell someone you love them and mean it, go have the most passionate sex you can, spend some time helping someone … those things are not goals, you can’t “accomplish” them - but you can do them today. You can be happy.

So here it is - race week, 6 days before I participate in my first actual Ironman race (done the distance without the label) and I’ve spent a good amount of the last 4 days in the hidden corners of my mind asking myself - “Why do I want to be an Ironman?”

I’m thankful that I haven’t had to analyze this question before now because there is a possiblity that I couldn’t come up with a good answer, therefore making the daily training even more difficult. But the process of training is over, I have put in 451 hours and 50 minutes of training in 2007 to get to this point. At times I’ve felt cursed with this desire to know “why” about everything or to find an underlying meaning for every action. After reading the new biography on Einstein, I wonder how difficult it was for him to never find a “unified theory”. Imagine having such an intimate knowledge of this universe, only to come to a point in life where there doesn’t appear to be a simplistic methodology for understanding it. I guess that is a curse some people bare, the curse to find meaning and an inability to just let things be what they are. With that perspective in mind, here you go:

As I have thought about this, the interesting thing for me is that from the beginning (1999) to now, there has been a gradual transformation in the reasoning for why I wanted to participate in endurance activities.

The Beginning - I wanted an opportunity to say F-You to those who said I couldn’t.

I have written before about my experiences trying to play high school football in Nebraska. Even though when I sat down on January 1st, 1999 and wrote down my goals for this new adventure I didn’t put, “Show that A-hole you are better than he thought” I know that it was still there somewhere. I actually wrote down some glorified mumbo jumbo like, “use this experience as a platform to help others succeed.” I’m not sure what that really means, which is why there hasn’t been very many people that have benefited from my marathon running, triathlon races, adventure races or long distance cycling rides but me… to this point.

Why Ironman? Interesting enough, I’m not sure why I decided to make Ironman a goal. When I started I didn’t know how to swim and I didn’t own a road bike. There are two possibilities here: One - while attending the University of Nebraska I started to meet people involved with triathlon and Ironman was “the ultimate” in triathlon according to most people I talked to. Two - While running my first marathon I ended up running with a guy from Iowa. Not sure who he was, but he seemed helpful, at first. After a little discussion he started a long list of negative aspects about my marathon attempt. In a period of 5 miles he said, “You are going to Bonk” at least 20 times. He was incredibly negative about what I was doing and went on and on about how he was just using the marathon to “practice” as he was preparing for Ironman Florida. He was right, I did bonk and had a miserable last 10 miles. Maybe because I hadn’t trained enough (likely) or possibly because that guy convienced me that I wasn’t prepared. Either way, that jerk stole my joy. He took my happiness and accomplishment and trivalized what I had done (or was doing).

The “I’m gonna get you sucka” stage.

Once I got into a pattern of racing I fell into a phase that had me constantly comparing myself at races to others, specifically others that I felt I “had” to beat. Why did I have to beat them? Ego.

Eric Atnip says something quite a bit that helps put this into pespective. He commonly says, “I don’t get paid to do this.” How true. This doesn’t mean that being competitive is wrong or evil, but it does allow one to review where their competitive motivation comes from. Is it from a place that wants to crush the other guy because you want to “humble” them and boost your own “self-worth” or is it an opportunity to push each other to new peaks in performance or capabilities.

One thing that I’ve gained by living in Lexington, Kentucky is an environment that is filled with supportive competition. The culture of support among the endurance athletes in this town is tremendous. It is supportive and positive, something that I didn’t experience when I was entering into the sport while in college. (Not to say there wasn’t support in Lincoln or that everyone loves each other in Lexington, but my experience in the two environments couldn’t be more different.)

A lot of lessons can be learned by how some of the professionals act when winning and losing. Chris McDonald taught me a great lesson by his actions at Ironman Louisville on August 26th.

I’m glad that about 90% of that mentality has been removed from my concious and racing. Races would be incredibly unfulilling if that is where I was left today.

Where does my motivation come from today?

If I could narrow it down to a single word it might be - fulfillment. Or maybe a word like, empowering, living, satisfaction, humility….

If I could put it down in simple statements it might be any one of the following:

• - to pursue excellence in a singular area
• - to create discipline within a complicated mind in a crazy world
• - to remember that life is lived in moments of now, not recollections of times past
• - to instill a thankfullness to my God that allows me such a wonderful gift
• - to develop a trust in something other than my own mind
• - to understand pain
• - to disallow physical pain’s grip upon my conciousness
• - to disallow phychological pain’s manifestation on my body
• - to help carry some of the burdens that others’ spirits hold (Specifically for Ironman Wisconsin I will be thinking about the burdens that God has placed upon my aunt Connie and John Reier.)
• - to remember the blessings that I get on a daily basis
• - to honor those that have had a part in my development
• - to have an excuse so that I don’t drink too much once again…
• - to run from problems that seem to have no answer … because there will be an answer once those feet hit the pavement. There always is.
• - to understand the value of working hard

I realize that all of this may seem a little hokie for those reading this. “How can you get all that out of running a damn race?” I agree that it may seem overstated, I could have developed and matured from the person I was in 1999 to the person I am now without ever having run a single mile. But I didn’t! There are two tools that God has given me to deal with the demons I face and improving myself as a person - poetry and physical endurance. I’m not so open to sharing my poetry anymore, so you get to look into the window of my life through my racing.

If you want to read about someone else’s journey that just finished at Ironman Louisville, I suggest you go read Courtney’s Race Report. Sometimes a race means more than just what happens on a single day. Think about the lasting impression John “Blazeman” Blais will have upon the concious of those in the war on ALS.

Sure, there will be moments this Sunday where I will be motivated by images of me walking up to certain individuals and saying “F–K You!” But thankfully, I have a list of things that now motivate me than just that.

Checking out until next week. Follow Nikki and I at www.ironmanlive.com. Nikki’s race number is 2031, my race number is 437. There also will be text updates at various times at, www.twitter.com/ditschfitness